#this game man... ooof...

[cheriafreya]

holy fuck this was only MoC 10...

[boyfrillish]

I finished chapter 10 and I am not okay! And it's the middle of the night and I have to stop there!

Game: hey, you're going to face some consecutive battles now, are you sure you want to proceed Me: hmmm let's go in right now, what could possibly go wrong

(What went wrong is that Stuff Happens and first Alcryst and then Alear break my heart with their voices)

[astrobydalia]

Summer fling❤️‍🔥

Relatioship observations

work by astrobydalia

❤️‍🔥 A thing about Virgo Venus is that since this is Venus’ fall they tend to be socially awkward or have struggles reading the room. The type to make jokes or remarks that are a bit too direct and low-key break the mood. They tend to behave in ways that comes across as robotic or dry

❤️‍🔥 A similar thing happens with Scorpio/Aries Venus too (venus is debilitated here as well) they tend to behave in ways that breaks social harmony by being a little too bold or even scandalous (Examples of this energy: Marilyn Monroe, Doja Cat)

❤️‍🔥In general, unless the rest of the chart says otherwise, debilitated Venus positions gives the native low charisma and lower ability to blend in socially. Their demeanor tends to be too forward or rub people the wrong way.

❤️‍🔥What is up with Leo placements and becoming romantically obsessed with people that reject them? Either that or they enjoy perusing people who they "shouldn't" be with like authority figures or someone that is way out of their league

❤️‍🔥Just like Jupiter in a woman's chart tells you how her husband will be, I feel like Jupiter in man's chart will tell you what kind of husband he'll be to be honest

​❤️‍🔥​ Whenever I had Vertex in the 5th house of a Solar Return, romance was a significant thing during those years!! However it was always flings, situationships and stuff like that. The sign with gives more nuance like one year I had it in Sagittarius and I had a fleeting romance with a foreigner

❤️‍🔥 With debilitated moon (Capricorn/Scorpio Moon) I've noticed these natives tend to believe or feel like love is conditional. Things like loyalty, trust and care are earned and come with a price or you have to jump thorough endless hoops first in order to get them. They refuse to be vulnerable so they expect the other person to show their cards first and then MAYBE if you earn their trust they'll open up too but good luck with that LMAO.

❤️‍🔥 That being said, I noticed men with Capricorn/Scorpio Moon tend to marry a woman that is very self-righteous and controlling. Their choice for a life partner tends to be... yikes

❤️‍🔥 Capricorn/Scorpio Moon can be the type to be skeptical of the idea of true love. The difference is Scorpio Moons are most likely to convert into the lovey-dovey train once they find their person cause being water sign deep down they crave that intimacy. However Capricorn Moons are most likely to freeze their heart out even when their soulmate is right in front of them, unfortunately the more time passes the more cap moons tend to harden their hearts

❤️‍🔥 Scorpio Moon’s greatest fear is to be alone I’ve noticed. And yeah nobody wants that but trust me for Scorpio Moon this is a HUGE thing. When I say they crave intimacy I mean they CRAVE intimacy. If they could hot glue their loved ones to their body so they’re connected to them for life like siamese twins, they would.

❤️‍🔥 Taurus Moons are just as obsessive and sexual as scorpio moons, literally copy paste. They can also be just as toxic when underdeveloped. The difference is taurus moons are more nurturing and if they don't want you to leave they'll create a paradise or "golden cage" for you (vs Scorpio moons who tend to resort to emotional or mind games for this purpose). I was also surprised to discover how needy taurus moons become once they like you?? Idk how to explain it but it's like they wanna insert you in every aspect of their lives and low-key gatekeep you LMAO. On the other hand Scorpio Moons will push you away and play cat and mouse for a while if they see themselves catching feelings

❤️‍🔥In my opinion both moons (Scorpio and taurus) tend to seek possessiveness or control in their relationships and they usually have the upper hand or the most power I've noticed

❤️‍🔥Praying for gen z babies born under Scorpio Venus cause a lot of them have that placement square Aquarius Neptune and that combo is.... ooof. Romanticizing toxic delusional love that brainwashes the shit out of them YALL NEED TO WAKE THE FUCK UP

❤️‍🔥 When someone has their planets in your 12th house sign you have a fogged perception of this person, you tend to idolize them cause there are parts of them that you're blind to. However this person will feel confident in knowing your psyche as well as the unconscious motives behind your actions. This person has a knack to naturally know how to appeal to unconscious desires or fears you weren't even aware you had. For this reason you'll find this person either triggering and scary OR very addictive cause it almost feels like they penetrate your soul

❤️‍🔥 With that being said, people with planets in your 12th house are the best therapists for you or best people to vent to. Water houses in general can apply, but I feel like 12th house is better for this cause it rules over spiritual and emotional healing/cleansing specifically. This person can help you untangle your unconscious and you can feel sooooo much relief after talking or being with them. This will only apply if you trust them and they have good intentions ofc, otherwise they'll actually feed into your unconscious fears and make them worse

❤️‍🔥 People with placements on your 8th house secretly dislike and/or envy you, but still feel the need to be close with you cause they low-key wanna tear you down, wanna see you fail, wanna keep taps on you to make sure aren't too successful. I've seen SOOOOO many toxic fake friendships with this synastry... Although I've previously talked about positive manifestations of this overlay too, frankly this dynamic is what I've observed for the most part with this synastry if im honest with you

❤️‍🔥 I totally agree with @zeldasnotes when she said 8th house synastry is only good/tolerable when there’s mutual sexual attraction between the two, otherwise it’s annoying af. I believe this is because the two people can easily use sex to release all the intensity and tension between them instead of letting it build up or channeling it through toxic emotions like envy

❤️‍🔥 Okay but have you ever been genuinely loved by an Aries placement? When their heart is in it, they'll have unshakable loyalty. They’d move mountains for you, kill and fight for you. They are THE ride or dies

❤️‍🔥 A thing that I've seen a lot with women who have debilitated Jupiter (Virgo, Gemini, Capricorn) is that they have a husband that prioritized his work over their marriage/family. The husband is often away due to work or duties or just emotionally unavailable in general. These women tend to give up something about their life after marriage because they had to accommodate to their husband's life style, like if she has to move or give up her own job to be with him she will. For example: Grace Kelly (Gemini Jupiter) who quit acting after marring the prince of Monaco. Hailey Bieber (Capricorn Jupiter) who was exposed to a lot more public attention after marrying Justin and she said herself she's had to learn to adapt that being new part of her life now

❤️‍🔥 Another big thing I've seen with Saturn influence in the 7th house is that your spouse will have big, BIG ambitions. People only talk about Jupiter or Venus but to be real with you, Saturn is an underrated indicator for your spouse being wealthy. This placement indicates that your spouse is stablished, successful and can easily provide stability for you. All the people I've seen with this placement married someone who had a business!!!!, their own house, a successful career, a household name, a higher position, etc

What I mean by Saturn influence on the 7th (for both Vedic and Tropical): Saturn in the 7th house Capricorn or Aquarius DSC 7th ruler in the 10th house (also maybe 11th house) or vice versa Saturn darakarka

❤️‍🔥 Mars-Pluto aspects definitely will make someone have pretty extreme kinks

❤️‍🔥 I’ve seen this a lot in Pisces Moons and Aries Moons that they low-key wanna be babied in a relationship or they subconsciously end up being the one who’s more coddled and taken care of by their partner

❤️‍🔥 Aries and Gemini placements in the composite chart is indicative of a relationship that likely won't last long-term. I've seen this placement in long lasting marriages too but their relationships gave off fling vibes, really playful, they type where people said they wouldn't last

❤️‍🔥 I’ve seen Saturn in the 7th house synastry manifesting as the opposite of commitment. The Saturn person blocks off the possibility of having a committed relationship with the house person and the house person feels abandoned

❤️‍🔥 With that being said Saturn in synastry/composite can indicate rejection in that area and things one or both parties will deprive the other of or deny them. For example Saturn in the 8th synastry/composite can mean one person refused to have sex with the other or there are many conditions and restrictions in the sex life of both

❤️‍🔥 Aquarius and Capricorn Mars/Venus are SO good at hiding their attraction from you. They'll watch from afar for some time before making some move meanwhile you'll be clueless of their interest

❤️‍🔥 Moon square Neptune is an aspect that makes someone emotionally insecure, the type to need constant reassurance that you still love them. Can also be emotionally manipulative in very subtle almost undetectable ways

❤️‍🔥 Earth Venus find it very easy to engage in casual dating/hook up culture because they know how to not get too attached. They have a hyper awareness of what purpose a certain relationship is serving them at the moment so they act accordingly

❤️‍🔥 On the other hand I’ve noticed Air Venus natives have a tendency to play around because they know they get the ick quickly. But it's all fun and games until they end up catching feelings accidentally 😭

❤️‍🔥 My experience having Gemini Jupiter in the 7th house: Yes all my suitors/dates have been foreigners but the cultural difference was never that big. They usually came from a country close to mine or their cultural background was very similar from mine

work by astrobydalia

[besotted-with-austen]

Jane Austen: Darcy, you see an older jolly-looking fellow coming in your direction-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: another one? Miss Bingley, please dance with me-again.

Caroline Bingley: *fake-swooning* oooh, Mr Darcy~again? what would the other guests say?

Charles Bingley: *heh* probably that he is kind of a prick? Or that you guys are an item.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: I have danced with Mrs Hurst too-I am still not romancing anyone.

Caroline Bingley: *sing-song voice* we will see about that!

Jane Austen: the poor guy remains in the middle of the room awkwardly, and then walks away; the older ladies that have introduced themselves as Mrs Bennet and Lady Lucas look at the scene and start whispering furiously-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *rolling his eyes* I can only imagine what they are saying.

Charles Bingley: hey, can I guess what is the general opinion of us at this ball?

Jane Austen: sure, roll a Perception Check.

Charles Bingley: hah, I rolled a twelve!

Jane Austen: you are the man of the hour, and the ladies are very jealous that Miss Bennet has captivated your attention for so much time-

Charles Bingley: what can I say, she is a delight! Who could resist?

Jane Austen: you also feel that Caroline is very much admired for her elegance and style, as is Mrs Louisa Hurst-

Caroline Bingley: *fake hair toss* is anyone surprised?

Jane Austen: you see people looking in the direction of Mr Hurst at the buffet with a general air of ‘eh, he looks like a rich gentleman, I guess he is all right”.

Mr Hurst: hey, I am a gentleman and I am married-I won at this game already, let me eat the imaginary Regency fancy food.

Jane Austen: as for Darcy-you are the rudest, most entitled gentleman they have ever met. You barely spoke and only danced only with the ladies in your party-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: so they hate me because I did not care for making introductions? I do not want to dance with someone else.

Caroline Bingley: *waggling her eyebrows* do you?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *exaggerated disgust* someone else I don’t know.

Caroline Bingley: la-aame. Okay, we are stopping dancing.

Charles Bingley: I mean, you could dance with someone else, it would not kill you-I come near them and say to Darcy, but in, you know, flowery language pertinent to the time period.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *smiling* you sure do. But, I say, “I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

Charles Bingley: *stage whisper* show-off.

Charles Bingley: DM, is there any cute lady I could introduce to Darcy?

Jane Austen: near you there are several young ladies seated, just waiting for a partner-you recognise one of them, a cheerful-looking girl that has been introduced to you as one of the beauties of Longbourn.

Charles Bingley: oh, Jane’s sister, Elizabeth! Darcy! My buddy, my man, look at her! What of it?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *pfeh* what of it indeed-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: I look at her, I make eye contact just enough to make her realise I have noticed her, and I say to Bingley, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”. Then, I walk away.

Caroline Bingley: *silently mouths “tolerable”*

Charles Bingley: *sighs* Heavens.

Mr Hurst: I was standing over my dessert and did not hear that, but I let go an “ooof” anyway. I felt it.

Caroline Bingley: how is Eliza doing?

Charles Bingley: Elizabeth-

Caroline Bingley: I like Eliza better.

Jane Austen: Elizabeth looks a little longer in your direction, then she stands up and goes to her friends on the other side of the room-she is smiling, but the smile is not reaching her eyes.

Caroline Bingley: *eagerly* tell me this action will have consequences, please tell me it will-

Jane Austen: what do you think?

[hoshifighting]

HI, passing by to say that your fics are great, and your kinktober is perfect!!

I know you've written a lot about Vernon recently, but I saw this on TikTok and I can't stop thinking about the things he could do with his giant hands. Could you write something about it?

warnings: smut, spanking, fingering, handjob.

vernon's hands because you know he’d hit you with the lightest tap at first, like, it’s almost insulting how gentle it is. vernon ain’t tryna bruise you up or whatever, and the whole time he’s got that little nervous grin, like he’s about to be scolded. it’s cute as hell. but, the second he really lets loose? man’s got power behind those hands. big hands. you can feel the weight of 'em before they even land.

like that one time, right after a shower, towel barely clinging to you, hair still damp. you were just minding your business, trying to get into your clothes when smack. he swung his hand across your ass with zero warning, and it wasn’t no soft pat this time either—full-on, the type of slap that makes your skin fever. you legit stumbled forward like, “shit!” and he looked all shocked, wide-eyed, like he couldn’t believe it either.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” he’d say, rushing over, hands immediately on your ass, rubbing at the spot like he’s tryna fix it, all soft and apologetic. but the damage’s already done, ‘cause you’re fucking turned on, and it’s like a switch flips. clothes? yeah, fuck that. who needs 'em. you’re on him within seconds, pushing him down onto the bed like, “nah, do it again.”

and vernon, with those stupid big hands of his, he’d look at you for a second like, “for real?” but there’s that smirk again—like, half-cocked, all knowing—and next thing you know, you’re on top of him, and his hands are everywhere, gripping your waist, pulling you in. you’re grinding down on him, barely even caring about pace ‘cause you’re too busy begging him for more. more slaps, more everything.

and when he does it? that sound, it’s unreal. the way his palm connects with your skin—it’s loud, echoing in the room, mixing with your moans. and every hit just makes you sink deeper into him, arching your back, desperate for the next. “harder,” you gasp out, already feeling breathless but too far gone to give a shit. he gets braver with every slap too, the more you beg for it, the more he’s giving it, and the smirk never leaves his face.

or

when vernon chokes you, it’s a whole event. his hand? massive. like, it’s not just on your neck—it’s covering everything, from your throat up to your damn chin. it’s almost unfair how easily he keeps you in place, like you're nothing, like you couldn’t move even if you tried. he’s splitting you open with his cock, going slow at first, letting you feel every inch stretch you out. and the way his hand’s just wrapped around your neck, keeping your head steady, so you’ve got nowhere to go—it’s fantastic. he’s watching you like he’s studying your reaction, all intense, waiting for that moment when you lose it, your mouth open, moaning his name, eyes rolling back. it’s game over. you’re his. completely.

and then, ooof when it comes to using those hands for a handjob? different breed. he’s so fucking smooth with it, his fingers wrap around his cock perfectly—he knows his size gives him an advantage and he uses it, dragging his hand so slow, it’s like he’s teasing you with how effortless it seems for him, would use his thumb on his slit or he’ll press it just under the head, rubbing in those slow circles, never rushing.

now, fingering, that’s another story. those hands of his—when he uses ‘em right, you feel it everywhere. like, you ever have someone finger you so good it’s like their hand is the only thing holding you together? vernon does that shit. pressing his huge warm hand on your lowerbelly as his fingers are knuckle deep inside you. he’ll start slow, like he always does, one finger at first, testing you out, watching how you react. his fingers are so thick, though, so one already feels like a lot. but then he slips in another, scissoring them apart, stretching you in ways that make your breath catch. he’s got this way of curling them just right, like he knows exactly where to press, it’s like he’s got this shit down to a science.

[monarchofdreams]

Familial

This is my grandson, Joseph. He has always taken care of me since he was a little boy. I would always appreciate him helping me clean the house, walk to the kitchen, or even buy me groceries. When he was young, he loved to play sports. He'd say he'd grow big and strong just so he could help me. I was always so proud of him when he showed me his medals and trophies. Unfortunately, I was always too old and frail to see his football games. He did well with academics as well. He was athletic, intelligent, and not to mention his looks, but he was also gorgeous. I love him so much, but it bothered me to see him lonely. I mean, he's very popular and has plenty of friends. However, even with his good looks and charm, he doesn't have the confidence to ask a girl out. He would always say that he would never get a girl or they wouldn't want to date him. That's just ridiculous! He is wasting those amazing genetics. If I had thise looks back in my day, I'd have women from all over town begging to get into my pants. Fast forward a few years, I was stuck in a hospital bed waiting to kick the bucket, and Joseph was taking care of me. He's a grown adult with his own life, yet he never left me behind. He was devastated when I passed away. He locked himself in his room for days just to cry. I reached out to comfort him, but suddenly, in that moment, everything went blank.

Slowly, sound starts to return, and I can feel a draft against my skin, across my entire body. As I slowly open my eyes, I realize I am in my grandson's apartment. As I take in my new surroundings, my eyes drift toward my large arms and hands... they aren't mine! They are nicely tanned and without a wrinkle in sight! I have tattoos decorating my now bulging biceps. I am only wearing a pair of Nike briefs, fully exposed, leaving little to the imagination. I quickly ran to the bathroom, and to my disbelief, I was greeted by Joseph's reflection, displaying a shocked expression, but it was not long until that confusion shifted into curiosity and arousal.

I started to gently touch the soft skin of my face and torso, which was now blanketed in thick slabs of muscle mass. My hands glided down my chest, fondling my massive pecs and washboard abs. As I felt myself up, a massive bulge started begging for attention. I bit my lip as my hands began to move down, as if they had a mind of their own. My fingers glide across my pecs, brushing against my firm nipples. My body began to shudder the more I touched them. Damn, they are very sensitive. I felt my raging cock stiffen against my briefs, and a damp spot started to form. Without wasting more time, I quickly reached down the damp briefs, my hand breaking past webs of pre built up from the past few minutes. My fingers wrap around my manhood, but just barely. Holy shit, I am massive. I take my thumb nad massage my tip, feeling more slick juice coating my hands. Without warning, my hips suddenly buck forward, causing a soft masculine moan to escape my lips.

I haven't felt this good in years, and I am hungry for more. I continue to grind my cock against my massive rough hands, my breathing growing heavier with each pump. I can feel pressure building up as I get closer to finishing, but I won't allow this to end so soon. I release my hand from its cum soaked prison, and take a wiff of my spunk. It reaks of the musk of a true man. I feel my cock soften just enough to get my briefs to loosen its grip. I pull down the elastic, letting my 8 inches of pure manhood to spring out and breathe, dripping with white spunk and sweat. I know I'm taking this too far, violating Joseph's body, but I can't control myself. I wrapped my hand once again around my shaft and began pumping my that dick. As I pump, it continues to inflate an extra 2 inches in my hands. My rough hands stroke the ridges of my fuckstick, driving me insane with each pass. "Ooof. Oh fuck, yes..." My moans of pleasure grow louder and louder. Hearing the sexy voice of my grandson spout lude words from my mouth and feeling the base of his vocal chords vibrate within my throat is sending me over the edge. More and more pressure begin to build up as I feel cum rise up my piping hot rod. Nothing else mattered right now. Only thoughts of sex and pleasure filled my mind. My grandson's well-being was no longer a concern. "This is my body, Joseph. You love your grandpa, right? So I'm sure you'll be thrilled if I stay. You like that, don’t you? Ohhh, yes. Unnghh, " I yelp out in my new sexy voice as I reach my limit. "Im coming. Oh yes, baby, I'm coming. Nnnngg..." It was not long until my cock finally erupted, my white juice coating my sweaty body. The smell of musk continued to turn me on, and without hesitation, I brought my cum cover hand to my mouth, licking my fingers clean. The thick juices slid down my throat as I enjoyed the salty taste of my youth. My dick was still rock hard and leaking. I can really go for a second serving.

[ai-megurine]

The Gorge (2025) reaction.

Levi looks like a comedian from my country (Pierre Thevenoux), so it's hard to take him seriously ngl

Why didn't Anya speak Lithuanian too? (Is it the correct language? Someone correct me if I'm wrong)

Yeah JD is going to die

Isn't changing snipers every year costly?

Ain't no way you're getting tomatoes in October with that weather. Most unrealistic part of the movie so far

My guy spent three seconds checking Anya out, relatable. Love that she FELT him watch her, that's some nice instinct

Oh, good representation of PTSD and how it takes several seconds for people to snap out of it when they're having a nightmare

ARGH glass in the foot???? Nope nope nope

He really went back to checking out Anya, my man

Oh so Anya CAN speak Lithuanian since she's singing happy birthday to herself. Makes the earlier scene goofier

HAHAHA the way she shot to get his attention

How come her hair still look so good that after two/three months in this place??? Unrealistic

Her mimics are so funny

The OG long distance relationship

They're so cute

The "OH IT'S ON" face

Oof love how it went back to being a monster movie in an instant and how they both stand on BUSINESS

Oh GOD they're on her side too

Maybe take two seconds to grab a rifle????

Damn that scene was neat

Realistic-ish wounds

HAHAHAHA she's so funny

The Sci-Fi tech looks neat imo. It's grounded and not all powerful

The FUCK is this???

He made a Christmas tree!!!

"Merry Christmas Drasa" 🥹

Hahahaha they're so cute

The chess game has to be a reference to the Queen's Gambit

Okay that overall montage is genuinely good. That's how you make a relationship building montage

Oh no her daddy is dead :(((

I wish he could be there to hug you too

OH MY GOD IS HE GOING ON A POTENTIALLY SUICIDE MISSION JUST TO GO HUG HER?????

My man. That's the power of love

MY QUEEN

Smooth my dude. He really shaved and went to get flowers. Insane.

OH HE'S IN LOVE

Hitting on each by talking about their kill shot records, incredible

They're really horny lmfao. And in love

EWWWWWWWWWWWW NONONONONONO WHAT IS THIS BURN IT WITH HELLFIRE

IT'S GETTING WORSE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Power couple!!!

Oh the cavalry that was talked about by JD!!! Are we gonna see him too?

Babe did you try to outrun a mutant HORSE???

Still a power couple tho

EW that place is terrifying. Love the design, very creepy and eerie

Love how they're methodical in their investigation and keep and their cool. You see the training/years of experience

Ooof the CHURCH design!!! Very hell on earth. Good for a visual representation of trauma

CYANIDE CAN SURVIVE THIS LONG???? Pressing X on that

Something is moving in the background and I hate it

"This place is evil" This place is badly protected

EWWWWWWWWWW

Oh those things don't like each other

Those films would NOT have survived this long lmfao

My dudes you cannot be shocked it was super soldiers

AWWWWWWWWWWWW, forehead touch. I love this. Very soft. I'm glad it wasn't a forced "I love you"

You left your GEAR PACK unprotected????????

Those things hunt/etc? I thought they survived on... Whatever

Drasa instinctively screaming in Lithuanian is good

We love a girlboss saving herself

Oooh setting it on fire good idea

EWWWWWWWWWWWW

BURN EVERYTHING PLEASE

So you HAD a grenade???

The screams are very sad. Poor people.

Yeah that Jeep is NOT working no matter what you do

WAIT THEY'RE LIFTING THE JEEP ALL THE WAY UP???? Peak cinema

Oh wait that's more of a tank than a Jeep. Still peak cinema

Yeah that leg is broken

I would've kept the axe

OH SHE MADE THE SHOT IN YEMEN

She gave him a reason a to live again I –

Now that's an "I love you" that's worth it

Sigourney Waever is such a bitch but a charismatic bitch and I love her

LMFAO there was a webcam on the computer. Can't believe they would've been saved by some tape

The drones are not bulletproof???? My brother in Christ did they order them on Wish?

Love the two seconds silence between the moment they shoot and the moment everything blows up

HAHAHAHA IN YOUR FACE BITCH

Damn the explosion looks great

Èze actually exists!

Their reunion is so cute!!!

Also Drasa is definitely dressed like a Frenchwoman. Levi isn't however. My man must be SWEATING dressed like that. This is April in the south of France

The tomatoes are still the most unrealistic part of the movie

Side note:

Drasa is such a good character. She's physically strong, trained and everything but she's also emotionally intelligent and vulnerable. That's how you write a strong female character without making her an archetype of the emotionless Eastern european spy. She could've 100% been a male character and it would work perfectly

Same with Levi! Sure he's physically stronger than Drasa but it's not thrown in our face. He could've been a woman and it would still work

[eccentricallygothic]

Prompt; This is the skin of a killer 🩷

Ghost vs König

. . .

Ghost;

“This is the skin of a killer, Simon!” Your boyfriend, who is much older and more mature than you will ever be, only turns his head briefly to look at you from the rugby game that he's watching. You dramatically stand with your face to the ‘sky’, glitter covered body curled outwards as you hold open the gown that you had been wearing atop it to hide your handiwork while creeping around behind Simon to turn on all the lights for full effect. Then you dramatically snap your head in his direction and open your eyes to come face to face with his judgemental expression that you don't care for because he signed up for both the generational gap and you very happily himself. “I am a killer!” One of his eyebrows only slightly quirk up in an ‘... okay?’ way before he turns his attention back to the TV. 

“Ugh, Simon! You're no fun!” He doesn't understand the reference and he doesn't even want to find out.

König;

“This is the skin of a killer, Tomas!” Your boyfriend may have grown into a mountain of a handsome man who can be scary when he wants to be but with you he can not help but become his insecure little past loser self again because he finds it impossible to believe just how he bagged someone like you. His jaw hits the floor as his eyes hungrily run all over your glittering body from where he's fixing something on the couch. “I am a kill– OOOF, TOMAS!” He did not have much experience before you and as much as he liked you, he had taken his time warming up to you. But now… 

“Oh, yeah!” Your eyebrows are furrowed as you cough due to how his charging into you like a mad bull before crashing you both into the ground has knocked the wind out of you. “It really is!” The man is always painfully desperate and ready for you. You are sure he doesn't understand the reference but before you can say anything to get him to stop ruining your twilight skin, he is crazily licking, kissing, groping and biting you everywhere he can reach, your writhing body trapped under his huge one. 

And by the time he is done with you, his skin is just as much covered in glitter as yours. 

. . .

sorry lmfao i am going through a cod and twilight phase at the same time

[earlymorningfoxhunt]

The Wager didnt hit as much as it could have heres my thoughts:

[this is like a free piece of media, this guys having fun with his ocs, and im having fun consuming them. I just wanna yap on the yapping website. a 9 minute long full orchestra piece and bone citadel makes up for it lol]

1: Lilliths nightmare sequence

I was expecting her to have new tricks. mother darkness said she "creates nightmares of peoples deepest desires" which would be way more effective on arthur because last time reliving his favorite memories was harder for him than reliving his trauma. it was so wonderfully teed up to be john and him being happy together and they would have have to reaffirm the thesis of giving up the easy way out and face reality with nothing but their own fire. I didnt even think this was grackling, it felt so purposely foreshadowed.

2: Arthur, and John felt dulled

arthur being like "are you going to honor our deal?" when in the company he said he doesn't believe kayne will, and JOHN just saying the blackstones location out loud when they both already put the pieces together, it was a bruh moment. it extra made the 2 weeks they've spent on the road feel nonexistent. time skips work really well because beening pried away from arthurs head is scary and the mystery of what happened is great, but for this one it didn't feel like we missed anything other than the chance to know the crew. a small nod to a contingency plan would have made them failing hit harder.

3: The last 2 polls irked me

patrons pretty regularly chose the combative option and if feels like we've got nothing out of it. his death was inevitable(/pos) but I wish he could have gotten like a little sass in there. there a disconnect where kaynes goes "you don't want to honor your deal... I won't honor ours" and then 4 minutes later arthur says "but our deal", and it makes the patron decision feel unincorporated.

patrons loss of agency can be really cool, arthur not getting a choice to carve up antoine is good horror, but this was the big final choice we knew was coming for a while and it lost the emotional weight it built up. it just felt like a meaningless blorbo fight, i fucking loved the blorbo fight, but we went into it knowing there was only one option.

4: MAN tag your loss of autonomy

taking away the choice from both voters and arthur is amazing horror but DAMN I was not ready for it. like ooof this and the horig moment was rough. I do not think it was intentionally alluding to a real life issue but arthur lester going "this is all my fault" did not help! AGAIN great narrative i just wish there was a heads up.

What did we learn? uuuuh harlan can write conclusions very well but the build up can be a bit agonizing due to the restrictions of the game mechanics + i wanted lillith and jarthur to be cooler.

for me, the patreon is neat but damn the full parts are the true way to consume this.

[going-fanfics17]

14th member of Seventeen : Sara aka Kim So Neul

Relationship with Members : Hyung line

1. Choi Seungcheol (Scoups) = (before debut) Sara was really scared of him. Like his aura, ooof! Intimidating! He was tall, angry looking and barked orders plus she walked into the practice room to witness cheol put Mingyu in a headlock. So her being scared was justified even though he literally melted on seeing her doe eyes and wanted to be the best big brother.

(after debut) Scoups was finally able to gain her trust and show her that he wasn't scary. He protected her, cooked for her, took her to places to explore the new country. Sara saw how nice he was to her and let go of that scary image she had of him. In due time they became best friends and she wasn't scared of him anymore.

2. Jeonghan= (before debut) the bunny boy, following her around, trying to get her to join in on his pranks and pouting if she said no. Sara was never pranked by him, he adores her too much to do that. She was his aegi and he teased her about it everyday. Protective brother number 2.

(after debut) Jeonghan always kept her close to him since she was the youngest and the industry is harsh and he wanted to shield her from all the monsters on the planet. Plus , she lives with him and cheol.

3. Joshua = (before debut) first day as soon as he heard she was also half Korean, he felt a mixture of happiness and relief. They bonded together the fastest. Jeonghan followed her around talking nonstop in Korean and Sara wasn't that fluent so Joshua always translated it for her. Her and Shua talked about their lives back in America, how and why she came here, changed companies and everything.

(after debut) my sister from another mother and my brother from another mother. That's the relationship. Joshua adores her, he watched her grow up from a shy but brilliant 12 year old to a matured 19 year old and even though he was way older than her, he still respected her and adored her.

4. Jun = (before debut) shy cat but also confused. Why were they adding a female member? He was a bit hesitant to warm up to her and neither of them could speak each other's language so it was even more difficult to bond.

(after debut) best friends. Bonded over their love for cats and weirdness. Jun went from being hesitant and awkward to looking after her since she wasn't even a teenager when she debuted. He taught her how to cook Chinese food and she went to him when she needed to cheer up.

5. Hoshi = (before debut) she was so weirded out by him. Like why was a grown man pretending to be a tiger? And trying to get her in on the madness? She thought it was normal in Korea to act like animals until Joshua explained why Hoshi did what he did. And he was scary when he was in choreographer mode so she avoided him.

(after debut) Hoshi never scolded her, like ever, even when she made mistakes but if someone else made the same mistake, it was over for them. Protective brother number 3. Sara became the biggest horanghe enthusiast after Jeonghan. Protected Sara from the paparazzi and prevented them from taking inappropriate pictures of her. Sara in turn bought him tiger themed stuff and made him kimchi.

6. Wonwoo = (before debut) he brought her out of her shell. Wasn't scary like Seungcheol or a yapper like Jeonghan. He was the epitome of calmness but also a menace. Greenroom Wonwoo knew how to have fun and match everyone's freak. He made Sara laugh when she was nervous before practice. Taught her korean and fed her chocolates as reward after a long practice.

(after debut) best friends. Platonic soulmates. She taught him how to boil water (that is all she can do) and he taught her how to play games. They always team up in gose and play games all night long. She is his cuddle bug , the only person Wonwoo opens up to and he is her comfort person.

7. Woozi= (before debut) he chased her with a guitar after she lost his guitar pick. She just hid it on purpose to tease him since he was shorter than her. She naturally gravitated towards Woozi since she thought he was 12 cause he was small. He wasn't but that didn't change a thing. He was just too cute and too much like a cat that she couldn't resist poking his cheeks.

(after debut) best buddies, song writing partners, best producer duo, she loves giving him back hugs when he is stressed out or tired. In return, he looks after her by bringing her food and massaging her head cause she is his baby. Backbones of Seventeen.

[fruitsofhell]

OH GOD THEY COOKED

Started watching one of the 10 million FNAF VHS series instead of doing homework, and its (purposeful) garbage cheap edutainment game vibes reminded me of the not garbage but aesthetically unpolished soley in the UI department and nothing else game Sheep Raiders for the PS1. And then it made me think, man I should make an analog horror series about sheep raiders cause I'm the one person on earth who cares about it. But then I actually started having these really deep thoughts about the spirit of childhood media consumption that analog horror twists into fear -- that like, 'I saw something OFF in a game/cartoon that wasn't supposed to happen and maybe I'm the only one who ever did!!' But also that can be a very comforting and fun emotion in a way...

My love of Sheep Raiders is because it incidentally intersects two things I care a lot about - early 3D game aesthetics and Looney Tunes - in a very beautiful but ultimately goofy way and it feels very made for me in that sense. Things like its dumb looking menus reinforce the fact that it is a niche unpolished project made for god knows what market that has found itself lodged in my brain. Sometimes you look at a game you never played and you just know had you the chance to play it as a child you would have lived in it effectively. And I think what makes a good creepypasta/analog horror thing appealing is that it reminds you a bit of that feeling when you've seen something unpolished enough times that its quirks and skips stand out to you more and more, and you can find something unsettling in that with reflection. I did not grow up on VHS tapes but I did grow up almost exclusively on movie disks that I would watch so many times they began to skip, or that certain oddities of tone started to stick out to me, or that I felt like the characters and I had formed a bond.

I want to find more analog horror/creepypasta revival stuff that embraces that Way Children Interact With Media Fundamentally Differently niche. I think best example off the top of my head is Angel Hare, which I recommend not cause its super scary - its actually very not - but because of that it explores fictional character bonds and nostalgia more blatantly. I own one of their kickstarter plushes cause I just think the series is neat for that even if it gets kinda corny. It uses analog horror as a framework to tell a very different kind of story about PSA edutainment characters that is dear to some ideas I want to write about myself. Namely escapism and guardianship.

I guess to bring this back to FNAF -- someone recommend me a FNAF Analog Horror that is not super bad with the scopophobia and is about Michael/some kid re-examining their relationship to the animatronics as childhood fictional friends and mascots turned living nightmare and chariot of trauma!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph!!! I was wondering if you or your wonderful followers have recs for me. I'm looking for fanfics with a deep study of Sherlock character. His past, his behaviour etc. Maybe without ships? But I'm ok with johnlock tho. Thanks ❤️

Hey Nonny!! *HUGS*

OOOF Most of my fic recs are Johnlock stories, so I do apologize for that... I DO have a list I put together for "Introspection" type fics, which are essentially character studies or either character so I can use your ask for that list, but I think you'll also find some stuff you'll like on these lists:

POV Sherlock 1st & 2nd Person

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt. 1: Fluff

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt 2: Hurt/Comfort & Whump

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt 3: Angst/Angsty Fluff or BAMF Fics

Fics in “Sherlock’s Voice”

If anyone has something more catering to Nonny's request, please do, but for now, let's see these Introspection fics!

INTROSPECTION / CHARACTER STUDIES

The Moment When by drekadair (K, 509 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Friendship, First Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock sees John in the pool, and doubts. Set during the end of "The Great Game." (FFNet)

The Hollow Man by HHarris (G, 639 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Chair, Introspection, Sherlock’s Big Feelings™, Post TRF, Angst, Emotional Turmoil, POV Sherlock, Pining / Sad Sherlock) – Still reeling from the apparent loss of his one and only friend, Sherlock returns to 221B for the first time after the events of The Reichenbach Fall.

Five Seconds by xXLadyLovelaceXx (K+, 658 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Pool Scene, Friendship, Introspection) – In the half-second before Sherlock shoots the jacket, John notices something. (FFNet)

Back in the Saddle by grannysknitting (M, 1,577 w., 1 Ch. || Post TGG AU, Donovan POV, Observation / Introspection, Protective Sherlock, Injured John, Case-ish Fic) – Their first return to solving crime after the pool and the explosion. (FFNet)

Upon This Throne by ifonlynotnever (T, 1,773 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Angst, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Introspection, Imagery, Pining Sherlock, Drug Use, Passage of Time) – Inside Sherlock's mind is a Palace. Inside the Palace are many rooms. Within the largest room is the Throne. Upon the Throne sits the King. (FFNet)

Love and Bombs by Spark Writer (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Romance, Angst, Pining Sherlock, 1st Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Ambiguous Ending) – Love and bombs aren't all that different, John. In the end, they're almost indistinguishable. (FFNet)

You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Introspection, Fluff, Post-ASIP) – Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft's words. (FFNet)

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Universe || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

Spectrum of Mourning at the Funeral of a Solitary Man by TheBookshelfDweller (T, 1,956 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Grief, Friendship, Sherlock First Person POV, Introspection) – Because each kind of love produces its own kind of grief, a long-ignored voice tells the story of five mourners of Sherlock Holmes, a man who in the end, was all but solitary. (FFNet)

The Lie-In by KendylGirl (M, 2,000 w., 1 Ch. || POV Sherlock 1st Person,  Bed Sharing, Fluff, True Love, Introspection) – Five months after his return, John and Sherlock spend a day in bed. Part 2 of When to Let Go

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of "A Study in Pink," John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into? (FFNet)

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest. (FFNet)

It's All Fine by AkoyaMizuno (T, 2,459 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG, Introspection, Mild Angst, Friendship) – Sherlock never asked what happened in the hours between John being kidnapped and the events at the pool. It occurs to him, days after the fact, that he probably should have. (FFNet)

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Developing Relationship, Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Days Go By by Hummingbird1759(T, 4,454 w., 6 Ch. || Angst, Friendship, Post-TRF, Introspection) – The characters' lives go on after the Fall... sort of. (FFNet)

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

Bound Into the Fire by Tara Laurel (T, 6,672 w., 5 Ch. || TEH, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Bonfire Scene, John Whump, Mary is Nice) – "John sometimes compared Sherlock Holmes to the flaming beast in his mind...Not such a bad way to go, John mused. Being consumed by Sherlock. Dying in his fire. No. This was different. He was burning alive. Not figuratively. Not some flowery metaphor. Burning." There was no two minute stay of execution. "Amazing how fire exposes our priorities." (FFNet)

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well. (FFNet)

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w., 1 Ch. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him... (FFNet)

The Skin Over My Heart by standbygo (E, 8,849 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Hiatus, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Dog Tags, Military, Homophobia, Gay Bashing, POV First Person Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Undercover, Haircuts, Flashbacks, Touching, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Metaphors, Introspection, Hand Jobs, On the Couch, John’s Past, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock and John are still trying to adjust to Sherlock's return from his hiatus when John's friend Bill Murray brings them a case. Someone is targeting the LGBTQA+ members of Bill's unit. John and Sherlock go undercover at the unit, but when they end up having to flirt to flush out the suspect, Sherlock realizes he's in over his head.

Illogical, even. by magikspell (E, 9,119 w., 1 Ch. || Grey-Ace Sherlock, Character Study, Growing Up, Victor Trevor, Romance, First Time/Kiss, Sherlock-centric) – Five reasons Sherlock never believed in love and one reason he does now.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty. (FFNet)

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate. (FFNet)

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

The Velveteen Doctor by Lantean_Drift (M, 12,815 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Dev. Rel., Introspection, Mild Whump, Taking Care of Each Other) – A series of events that show John just how real he has become to Sherlock – like a bright, brilliant flash of colour in an otherwise greyscale world.

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn't even know why he resents John's dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don't let that scare you off!)

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson. (FFNet)

And A Doctor by stillwaters01(T, 24,962 w., 6 Ch. || Five and One, BAMF John, Hurt/Comfort, Doctor John, Friendship, Character Study) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn’t just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That “doctor” actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 28,347 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF / Pre-S3 Divergence, BAMF John, Anger, Fighting, Sex, Bed Sharing, Stalking, Case Fic, John’s Past, Introspection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Mythology, Darkness) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. Sherlock finds that coming back is not enough to fix all of the damage that he caused by leaving. A post Reichenbach, post reunion re-discovery fic.

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w., 31 Ch. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION|| Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

There's Someone On Your Shoulder by halloa_what_is_this (NR, 41,215 w., 6 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Daydreams, Sherlock Loves John So Much it Hurts) – Sherlock trips and falls head over heels in love, makes a lot of lists and stares, stares, stares.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV, Toplock) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

Spare Parts by Raina_at (E, 63,497 w., 10 Ch. || 24th Century / Futurism AU || Post TRF, Pre-TRF Relationship, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Science Fiction, Reunion, Nightmares, Angry John, Cybernetic John, Emotional Discussions / Heart to Heart, POV John, Scars, Past Drug Use, Forehead Touching, Emotional Lovemaking, Kissing, Apologies, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission, BAMF John, Bed Sharing, Top Sherlock) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them. Part 1 of Realigning Gravity

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Multiple Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns. 

[kenobifitz]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

thank you for the tag :) @ccarisi

What's the origin of your username?: i love obi-wan kenobi from star wars and leopold fitz from agents of shield that's it

OTP(s) + ship name: oh i ship A LOT of things but i guess tiva from ncis and fitzsimmons from agents of shield are like my top real og ships?

Favorite color: blue!! BLUE!!! and also purple

Song stuck in your head: casual by chappell roan and DtMF by bad bunny

Weirdest habit/trait: see i'm weird af in general so i can't pick one thing?? i used to memorize the dialogue and songs for ships edits to the point i'd recite it in my sleep

Hobbies: crochet, gaming, bullet journaling, writing, rollerskating, watching tv shows basically, reading

If you work, what's your profession?: i have two jobs: one in logistics & one in like work from home admin stuff lol

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: man idk, probably tv writer

Something you're good at: yapping

Something you hate: ooof, stupid questions, self-centered ppl, ppl who think they're better than others, squishy textures, too many sauces in one thing, very specific fruits...i could go on

Something you collect: books and yarns

Something you forget: i probably have undiagnosed adhd the other day i bought two books and i had nowhere to put them and i left them in a hardware store because i got distracted by pretty china so idk what to tell u

What's your love language?: receiving gifts and words of affirmation

Favorite movie/show: i can't choose because i like too many things i'm sorry. so i'll say: star wars, pride and prejudice, the incredibles, mamma mia

and shows agents of shield, daredevil, ncis, criminal minds and a hundred more

Favorite food: carbonara my beloved or lasagna

Favorite animal: dogs

What were you like as a child?: annoying as hell i think? but i pretty much blocked my childhood so im not sure yknow, trauma things

Favorite subject at school: english and social studies

Least favorite subject: FUCK MATH FUCK PHYSICS FUCK CHEMISTRY

What's your best character trait?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think i'm supportive? like i will back tf out of my friends and fight a bitch if necesssary and also i get shit done, i like to solve stuff as efficiently as possible even under preassure

What's your worst character trait?: i crave validation to an embarassing degree and sometimes i overshare then feel bad about it lol

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: myself at 7 years old

no pressure tags @request-remand @ae-nar @thisisonlychemistry

[seren-the-ninth]

Been watching the Fictional Crush game with interest, here are some of mine, although maybe it would be more correct to call them formative influences 😂

First off: The Princess Bride. One of the first things I did when going on dating sites for the first time at the grand ol' age of 38 was ask for opinions on this movie. My now-fiance, who is 3 years older and therefore had no excuse, told me he'd never seen it! Obviously I pointed out the error of his ways. So we watched The Princess Bride on our first stay over at his house, then the following weekend his favourite - The Back to the Future trilogy.

I did not actually crush on Westley. I never have gone for blonds really. But I love the whole movie to my bones. Sort of a whole movie crush, if you will.

I'm not sure I would call these two crushes, just that they made me feel a bit... Odd.

David Bowie as Jareth was very odd for me. Dad had most of his 70's LPs so I was very familiar with his adoption of androgynous personas. But this was something else.

Tim Curry in Legend. Well if this wasn't the inspiration for thousands of devil romantasy fics.. that pose is one I'm sure Raphael copied in BG3 😂

So far, so typical of a geek girls 80s childhood.

Then I hit puberty around 1993.

The first fictional man to get my tummy fluttering was BJ Spatano in the Haunted duology. I have no idea who the model was. But the eyebrows. The eyelashes. The hair. That lower lip. The leather jacket. The leather thong around the neck juuust peeking out of the white tee. He was a ghost from the 50s! He has had a lifelong influence on my taste in men!

I loved these books. I was so sorry that he didn't end up with Angel that I made up my own fanfic for them, just in my head, while accepting that the actual ending was logically better for everyone concerned, really.

Oh my little goth self gulped The Crow down.

These two. Fucking perfection. So much yearning. Love them.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the movie. I could never get into the TV series. I'm a sucker for movies where the actors seem to be having a riot.

I wasn't into Beverley Hills 90210 and hadn't really thought much of its actors. I was never into the obvious teen magazine choices. But Luke Perry as Oliver was...🫠

Rutger Hauer was brilliant, he was the scary baddie in so many movies to me, so to see him chewing the scenery like this was fabulous.

Gary Oldman's Dracula. Ooof that perfect little goatee.

And finally... Lestat de Lioncourt. Again, not a crush (I'm failing at this crush game, aren't I?!). He is blond 😂 and none of the depictions ever captures how I picture him. Tom Cruise had fun with it but wasn't the right build. Stuart Townsend was... not right either. Lestat is a big guy! Sam Reid is probably as close as I've seen. I've not watched any of the new stuff yet, I'm almost scared to in case I feel let down 😂. I couldn't really describe how I felt about Lestat, until Anne Rice said that she considered him to be her masculine persona. That struck home for me although it sounds obvious now 😂

In summary: humourous fairytales, fae, devil, ghosts and so. many. damned. vampires. Yes my first attempt at writing an actual book was a vampire fantasy, how did you guess?

I was reading romantasy before they even gave it a portmanteau name, bitches!

[couldawouldashoulda50]

The Rabbit versus Kevin Fiala

(part 2 - New Beginnings)

Continuation of the Kevin Fiala series for @ladylooch Click here to read from the beginning A/N - this is just a little piece outlining their connection and growing attraction to one another, with hints of their backstories.

Thank you B and @misshoneyimhome for your kind and uplifting notes of encouragement with the first part; thank you to anyone who stopped by to give it a little read as well.

Warnings - swearing, alcohol (understanding everyone has different thresholds when it comes to any type of substance, I wanted to ensure it was clear there is no impairment at all with any consumption of alcohol in this part)

Word count 3.6k

As the mercury outside the mall reached a hellish 107 degrees, the former strangers slowly strolled along the gleaming walkways of the expansive shopping centre, talking as if they had known each other for years.  

Before they had broached the topics of their respective careers, a group of teen boys spotted Kevin and called out to him.

When Mariana heard his full name from the group of boys calling out to him, she wracked her brain wondering why the name Kevin Fiala rang a bell. 

The boys asked for a photo with Kevin and then after he obliged, the teens proceeded to size up Mariana afterward as she stood nearby.  

Kevin watched the boys visually ogle Mariana as she minded her own business and avoided looking in their direction.

Coolly, Kevin snickered at the boys, patted one of them on his shoulder and said to the group “Never in a million years, my friends,” as he sauntered over to rejoin Mariana. 

Mariana looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“OK, Rico….spill it, why do I recognize your actual name?” 

“Are you gonna call me Rico all day?” Kevin pretended to sound annoyed, but truthfully, he found it kind of endearing.

“Well….if the shoe fits,” Mariana quipped.  “But I’ll stop if it’s really bothering you,” she said amicably. 

“I’ll let you know,” Kevin flashed a smile and nudged Mariana’s elbow. “Apart from being a part-time Latin ladies man, even though I'm Swiss, I play hockey for the LA Kings,” Kevin explained.  

Mariana stopped mid-step and cocked her head to the side.  “Wait, - the Kings?  Ooof - you're the ones that have to wear those chrome domes, right?” she smirked. “They're…uh, pretty fancy,” Mariana ribbed.

“Hey, well, it pays the bills….and then some; I'm not complaining,” Kevin grinned as the two continued to walk.

“Well, hey….I realised that I had heard your name before…so you must be a pretty decent hockey player if I’ve even heard of you,” Mariana said with a wink and a smile.  

“So, are you not a fan of the Kings or just not a hockey fan period?” Kevin asked.  

“I just never got around to watching a game.  I guess you now just made me a fan of your team…so I’m gonna want to see you….whatever it is - score, I guess…a lot,” Mariana teased.  

The pair resumed walking at a leisurely pace, occasionally entering a store that piqued their interests. 

They wandered into the ‘Lids’ store and Kevin spotted a cap that was of interest.   Mariana and Kevin mutually veered off to browse the available merchandise for different sports leagues.  

It wasn’t long before Mariana spotted a white adjustable LA Kings cap.  She had an impressive stash of caps at home but it was time to purge the ones that brought up memories that she much rather forget.  Whether she and Kevin ever spoke again after that day or not, the cap represented the first day of her new life which she would treasure always.

As Kevin meandered through the racks and wall displays, he glanced over towards where Mariana was eyeing some Kings merchandise.  He smiled to himself - she had no idea who he even was 30 minutes ago, and now she’s eyeing caps and jerseys donning his team’s emblem and colours.  

He had been so interested in their conversations once they departed the theatre that Kevin hadn’t fully “seen” Mariana in actual daylight.  She was dressed so simply in a black tank top and cuffed cargo pants that were clean but definitely worn.  Her tanned skin was a deep golden tone, and her rich brown hair had flecks of copper, which remained in a braid pulled through the back of her hat.  

Kevin remained on the opposite side of the store as he continued to steal glances at Mariana.  He still had not seen her without her cap which shrouded her face, but Kevin was about to get his first full glimpse of the woman that was really beginning to entice him in such a short period of time.

Kevin swallowed hard when he saw her reflection in the store’s mirror as she removed her hat.

Mariana fixed wisps of her illustrious dark hair and held the white cap up near her head to get an idea if she would like it.

Kevin was not prepared to see one of the most gorgeous faces he had ever laid eyes on.

Her tanned complexion glowed naturally and her eyes were almost caramel coloured, so rare and spellbinding, even under the harsh store lights.

Kevin watched as a muscle-bound and cocky looking male store-clerk approached Mariana; he smiled at the clerk’s obvious and immediate infatuation with her as Kevin overheard him rambling to Mariana about choosing a better team to support.

Mariana was unfazed by the clerk’s attention in that she didn’t encourage any of his flirtatious behaviour; she remained pleasant and polite and transactional.  She wanted to buy the LA Kings hat and the clerk was going to take her money, end of story.  

Kevin selected a random hat off the shelf and joined Mariana at the cashier’s counter.  

“You like the Kings?” Kevin, pretending to be a stranger, asked Mariana as he leaned in to view the hat.  

Mariana smiled towards Kevin, her eyes twinkled with a bit of mischief.  

“Mmm-hmm - it's my favourite team, but Anthony here basically said they weren’t worth even the price of the hat,” Mariana said, feigning disappointment as she played along with Kevin.

The clerk looked long and hard at Kevin's face; it’s not that he or the Kings weren’t popular in LA; it was the fact this was LA…the super handsome, athletic male types were everywhere and they sort of blended together.  The clerk was clearly struggling to put a name to Kevin’s face.

Mariana did a double-take at Kevin as she gently nudged his forearm.  “Wait a second, aren’t you Kevin Fiala?” Mariana asked with a slightly exaggerated tone.

The clerk figured out reasonably quickly, based on their mannerisms, that they - at the very least - knew each other and this whole exchange was a bad acting routine. 

The clerk bit his tongue as he moved on to  serve Kevin.  

Mariana stepped aside taking the tag and stickers off of her new merchandise, threw out her old hat and placed the new cap on her head in the same fashion as before.  Kevin let out a light chuckle as she beamed with pride over her new purchase.  Kevin followed suit, adjusted his cap and slid it on backwards.  

As the two exited the store, Mariana whooped “Go Kings!!” followed by a cheer by Kevin - neither of them bothered to look back at the clerk.

Feeling peckish, Kevin spotted a small bistro and asked if Mariana wanted to stop for a quick bite to eat.  

Kevin had a brilliant idea when he spotted a sweet cream cold brew coffee on the menu, and he offered to order one for Mariana as well.  Alongside the cold brews, he ordered some beautifully crafted French and Italian pastries.  The two sat at a small table off in the corner and admired what lay before them.

“Hey…where’s that flask?” Kevin said under his breath as he flashed a grin.

“Why….are you looking to spike my coffee so you can have your way with me, Rico?” Mariana quietly said, feigning an indignant tone.

“You keep calling me that and I'm gonna have to do something,” Kevin replied with a smirk.  “Pass it here,” he said.

Mariana slipped the flask out of her side pant pocket and discreetly handed it to Kevin.  The bistro was humming with patrons so Kevin easily added a splash of Tequila to each cup without anyone around being the wiser.

He returned the flask to Mariana and they tapped each other's cups to make a toast. 

“To new beginnings…” Kevin said, smiling warmly at Mariana.

“To new beginnings…but fair warning Rico, if you get me drunk…you might have your hands full,” Mariana chuckled.

Kevin pondered that might be the exact cure for what’s been ailing him.  He said nothing, and took a bite of his pistachio-lemon tart.  

Mariana giggled as the green-ish filling, as delicious as it must have been, looked like his moustache was encrusted with a layer of nose nuggets.  

“Quite the flavour-saver you've got here,” Mariana said as she leaned over with a napkin and gently wiped his upper lip.  

“In my past experiences, some flavours are better than others,” Kevin said wryly, wiggling his eyebrows.

It took a second but Mariana clued in that Kevin was alluding to a women's distinct “taste” between her legs.

“Well aren’t you a dirty little birdy,” Mariana said, as though she was offended instead of being amused. “I guess that's somewhat unsurprising there, Rico,” she deadpanned.

Kevin snickered as he tossed the last of the tart in his mouth, washing it down with a healthy gulp of his cold brew.

“So, we haven't gotten to the part where you explain to me what you do for a living?” Kevin asked.

“Did for a living…I'm not sure if I'm going to continue in the same line of work.  Our firm handled renovations, restorations, and well, I guess custom builds…but I was more involved with the first two,” Mariana explained.

“Wait - so like you know how to build things…like with your hands - ah shit, you know what I mean….” Kevin said half-chuckling while shaking his head trying to get the right words out.  He found himself a little tongue-tied with being completely in awe of the woman in front of him. 

“I’m usually armed with the appropriate power tools, but yeah, you’ve got the right idea”, Mariana laughed.  “My partner and I were like those typical home reno television couples, only he was the realtor and I was out in the field managing and taking part in the renovation projects.  If we fell behind with the projected schedule, I’d be the one working after hours with the trade guys to keep everything on track,” Mariana explained.

“We hit the ground running, picked up some really high profile Clients and pretty soon, our name was out there.  Soon there were five of us; a designer, an engineer, an architect and my partner and I.  After that, we just kept growing,” Mariana continued.

Kevin listened intently, completely enthralled with Mariana while she spoke about the company she helped start.

“Things with the business were flourishing, and I thought it was natural that certain things might start to get a bit bumpy in our relationship.  One of the main stresses was that my partner and our designer hated each other.  She did phenomenal work and I didn’t want to risk losing her, so I always stepped in to diffuse the arguments.  Eventually, I agreed to relinquish a small percentage of my ownership rights to her in order to keep her as part of the firm,” Mariana said, swirling her cold brew around in her cup.  

 She paused, biting and pursing her lips as she maintained her composure. 

“The long and short of it was that while I pushed to maintain our initial goal of restoring instead of rebuilding, more and more, my partner and the designer would veto my recommendations and we’d end up demolishing some really beautiful buildings since I now had less control in the final decisions.  I was stupid and relinquished part of my ownership rights to keep another person happy,” Mariana said, full of regret.  

“I eventually found them together in our bed at home, and after that whole confrontation ended, my partner said he never loved me - to him, I just made good business sense,” she said quietly.  

Mariana paused for another moment as she ended with “Shit, sorry Rico - I didn’t mean to unpack all of that.”

Kevin gripped his cup as he listened to Mariana and watched as her gorgeous face now appeared sullen.

What a motherfucking prick…. Kevin thought to himself.

He lightly placed his hand on hers.  “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Kevin said as his eyebrows furrowed.  “So that’s how you were bought out - fuck, that’s…that’s really fucking brutal,” Kevin quietly added.

Although it didn’t feel awkward, a silence hung in the air between the two as they finished their drinks.  

“Did you like that little bit of Tequila in that?” Kevin eventually asked with a smile.

“It was on the way to being a decent Mexican coffee - but I think I might just be enjoying the bottle straight up tonight.  I’m giving myself 24 hours to allow myself to feel bad and get it out of my system before I figure out my next step,” Mariana winked.  

Mariana looked at her watch and realised her and Kevin had spent the entire afternoon together.  After unloading some of her emotional baggage throughout their conversation, a level of tiredness had settled behind her eyes.

Mariana glanced at Kevin and smiled; she felt beyond grateful she met him, especially today of all days.  

“Welp Rico, I think my battery is sort of winding down and I’ve taken up your whole afternoon…I should probably be on my way home,” Mariana grinned as she nudged Kevin’s knee with hers.  “I have to tell you, you really made my day,” she said to him affectionately.  

“Are you ok to drive?” Kevin asked.  Although the pair had not indulged with the contents of Mariana’s flask too much and neither were impaired in the least, Kevin wanted to ensure she got home safely.    

“Rico - I started the day armed with a flask of tequila….I’m Ubering it today,” Mariana said with a hint of sarcasm, followed by a smirk.

Kevin chuckled.  “Well, I can drive you home - if you can stand me for a little while longer,” Kevin asked, not caring if his tone sounded hopeful.  

“Even if I live two hours away?” Mariana asked, as she raised an eyebrow.

“Do you?” Kevin asked, slightly surprised.

“Not yet, but it’s something I have been considering.  Would I not be worth the time and gas if I did?” Mariana jokingly asked.  

“At this point, I’d drive you up to Canada if that’s where you wanted to go,” Kevin replied, flashing his typical beautiful smile.

Mariana’s eyes fell to Kevin’s mouth.  She had been transfixed by it since they met, and that one smile alone had ignited a strong sensation between her thighs.  

“I appreciate that - but yeah, I’m in Laguna Beach for now,” Mariana said.  “Are you sure that’s not too far out of your way?” she asked.

“Actually, I’m not exactly sure…I’m not entirely familiar with parts of this area. I’m in a temporary place right now in Manhattan Beach,” Kevin explained.

“Hmm - before you commit to taking a girl home, first it might be best to find out where she lives there, Suavé,” Mariana quipped, giving him an extra nudge.  “Seriously though, I can get a ride…my place is about an hour from here - so with rush hour traffic, tack on an extra 30 minutes. I don’t want to put you through all of that,” she said.

“Nah, let’s go - I’ve got a nice car and you’ve stood my company for this long…you might as well let me take you,” Kevin said, as he slid his hands in his pocket and motioned towards the door with his head.

Mariana shrugged as she started walking towards the exit. 

“Wait,should I Google you real quick and make sure you’re not on the FBI’s most wanted list?” she said with a smirk as glanced at Kevin.

Kevin turned to face Mariana while he walked backwards, smiling widely at her.  “Maybe I’m the one in danger and you’re the murderer,” he joked. 

“Maybe I am.  I murdered my last relationship it seems - you might very well be next, Suavé,” Mariana countered.

Kevin swivelled back around to walk alongside Mariana.  He knew she was being facetious but he sincerely hoped she didn’t actually believe her words.

“Well, if you are, I’ll at least die at the hands of the hottest murderer in history,” Kevin said with a wry grin.  

Mariana lightly scoffed and rolled her eyes at Kevin.  He seemed serious when he mentioned her as “hot’ and suddenly, she felt the flutter of butterflies in her stomach.  

The pair walked out to Kevin’s car in relative silence.  The heat had continued to climb throughout the afternoon reaching temperatures that were simply oppressive; it wasn’t the environment for a leisurely stroll and a chat through the parking lot.  

Kevin’s SUV was parked in the furthest reaches of the property and although Mariana never uttered a complaint, Kevin apologised for the distance they had to walk in the heat.  

“I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to work in these temperatures; working on a roof in heat like this would be too much for Satan himself, but I’ve had to do it a handful of times.

“That’s fucking insane; I’m definitely not going to complain to you then,” Kevin said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

They approached the passenger side of Kevin’s Porsche and he sped up to reach the door first, opening it for Mariana.  She thanked him and flashed a smile, waving her hand by her face to circulate the thick, stagnant air in the oven-like vehicle.  

Kevin rounded the front of the vehicle and as he opened the driver’s side door, another wave of heat poured out.  Kevin stuck out his tongue to mimic panting followed by a low groan punctuated by a low “fuuuuuck”.

Kevin started the car and immediately set the air conditioning to high.  He pulled up the GPS on the console and Mariana entered her address; the voice of the GPS confirmed that there was a 28 minute delay on highway 405, and Mariana looked at Kevin with a slight smirk.

“See?  I told you…tack on an extra 30 minutes for traffic,” Mariana said, satisfied that she had called it almost perfectly earlier.  

Kevin jokingly mumbled something about Mariana being a “smart-ass” as he drove towards the exit.  

Traffic was as nightmarish as expected but Kevin and Mariana made the most of the additional time to get to know one another.

No subject really seemed to be off the table, and Mariana attentively listened to Kevin talk about his childhood, his hockey career, his family and friends both in the US and in Europe.  

In turn, Mariana spoke of her beloved parents and being an only child.  The deep sorrow she felt since their passing a few years ago was palpable and Kevin apologised for bringing up the topic.  Seeing the warmth in Kevin’s expression, she gave his hand a squeeze and explained she’ll take any opportunity to talk about them to whomever will listen.

As the traffic congestion eased, Kevin glanced at the time remaining before reaching Mariana’s house.  He found himself disappointed that time appeared to be slipping away faster than he anticipated.  He looked towards Mariana as they shared a comfortable silence while she looked out the window, seemingly deep in thought.  Not wanting to interrupt her, he allowed his own thoughts to consume him as he kept with the flow of traffic heading south towards Laguna Beach.

Almost 90 minutes from the time they had departed the mall, Kevin reached Mariana’s small driveway.  He glanced upward at her two story home, admiring all the elegant details of the exterior, from the landscaping to the ornate second floor balcony railings.  

Mariana considered inviting Kevin inside, but she held back; she had some personal business that needed her attention and it was not the ideal time for a visitor.

The two made small talk and although there were slightly awkward moments with exchanging numbers and making potential plans, the two smiled widely and giggled over their “meet cute”.

Mariana stepped out of the frigid air-conditioned vehicle back into the heat of the evening, which seemed to be mercifully cooling off as the dinner hour approached.  

Walking around the front of the SUV towards the driver’s side, Kevin put down his window and grinned at Mariana’s smiling face.  

“I don’t want to get all sentimental and emotional, but sweet Rico, you were my saviour today.  Thank you so much for such a wonderful time,” Mariana said as she leaned in to gently kiss Kevin’s cheek.  “And thank you for driving me home - you really didn’t have to but I appreciate it all the same.”

Kevin was not often at a loss for words, but looking at Mariana, with her new gleaming white LA Kings hat which contrasted her golden brown complexion, he was completely mesmerised.  

All he could muster was a “you're welcome,” while trying to subdue his beaming smile.

“Will you shoot me a message when you get home?  Oh, and Rico - don't pick up any hotties on the way….I want to keep the title of hottest murderer in history.  I'm actually letting you live so you can spread the word about me,” Mariana smiled as she slowly stepped back from the SUV.  

Without a smarmy or even remotely amusing response coming to mind, Kevin just chuckled and saluted Mariana, flashing yet another dazzling Kevin Fiala smile.  “I’ll call you later,” Kevin hollered through the open window on the passenger side as he inched his vehicle away from Mariana’s driveway.  

“Drive safe, Rico,” she called back in his direction.  She gazed affectionately at Kevin and waved to him as he drove away.    

Mariana inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as she approached her front entrance.  There was a simple brown cardboard package leaning up against the door, and she smiled to herself, knowing full well what the contents were inside.